No help II

Since mid-April I have been writing emails to various newspapers, stations and TV programs in my country> Poland, I have not received any response to my calls for help. At the urging of my readers, I came to Warsaw personally. From the beginning I was skeptical about this idea, because I thought that if for half a year no one answered  my calls for help, no one cares about my fate, then my personal arrival to the capital will be a waste of time and money. As it turned out, I was right. My readers wrote to me that the journalist’s profession consists not only on talking and writing about celebrities, but also on helping to ordinary gray people.  My personal arrival to Warsaw did give to me nothing. Every journalist I contacted said: I’m sorry I don’t do this, it’s not my department, please write an email. Conclusion: everyone here cares only about themselves, their image, their career, their bank account, let the poor people learn to deal themselves alone. I can’t count on anyone from my family for help, I can’t count on the help of social services or our state, and as it turned out, I can’t count on help from the press and the media in my country. There is another sad conclusion: if for half a year nobody wanted to help me, it means that people reading my e-mails begging for help, they think that I do not deserve for help. Here the question arises, on what basis do people reading my e-mails asking for help think that I do not deserve for help? No one even wanted to check if what I’m writing is true or no. What should I do to get help? What desperate steps should I take to help me be helped? I should go to the studio Good Morning TVN, wrapped in denatured and threaten to set myself on fire? There is a risk that even if I did that, I would be sent to a psychiatrist to get rid of the trouble, and no one still would help me. The only way out is suicide to end my sufferings on this world, there is no hope for me anymore 🙁

 

Today i went to the building where good morning TVN is being created. There was a young woman at the reception, she looked like a model, there was a security guard next to her. I asked this lady if it would be possible for me to talk to a some journalist, she said it will be impossible. The security guard asked me if he could help me somehow, this lady got very angry at this bodyguard and forbade him to talk with me. I left with a nothing. According to this lady, ordinary, gray mortals cannot talk like that with famous people. This is strange because I have seen on the internet many times how ordinary people approached celebrities on the sidewalk in front of the DDTVN studio and asked them for an autograph and a photo together. I sat on a bench near the entrance to the DDTVN studio and thought that I would try to talk to some journalist when he will be leaving, but I got scared that if the lady from the reception would see me she would call the police so I gave up. The end of my adventure with DDTVN.

 

 

Od połowy kwietnia piszę maile do różnych gazet, stacji i programów telewizyjnych, nie otrzymałam żadnej odpowiedzi na moje wołania o pomoc. Za namową moich czytelników przyjechałam osobiście do Warszawy. Od początku byłam sceptycznie nastawiona do tego pomysłu, ponieważ uważałam że jeżeli przez pół roku nikt nie odpowiedział na moje wołania o pomoc, nikogo nie opchodzi mój los, to mój osobisty przyjazd do stolicy będzie stratą czasu i pieniędzy. Moi czytelnicy pisali że zawód dziennikarza polega nie tylko na mówieniu i pisaniu o celebrytach, ale także na pomaganiu zwykłym szarym ludziom. Jak się okazało miałam rację. Mój przyjazd do Warszawy nic nie dał. Każdy dziennikarz do którego się zgłosiłam mówił : przykro mi ja się tym nie zajmuję, to nie mój dział, proszę napisać email. Wniosek : każdy tu dba tylko o siebie, o swój wizerunek, o swoją karierę, o swoje konto w banku, biedacy niech nauczą się radzić sobie sami. Nie mogę liczyć na pomoc nikogo z mojej rodziny, nie mogę liczyć na pomoc opieki społecznej ani naszego państwa, i jak się okazało nie mogę też liczyć na pomoc ze strony prasy i mediów w moim kraju. Jest jeszcze jeden smutny wniosek : jeżeli przez pół roku nikt nie chciał mi pomóc to znaczy, że ludzie czytający moje maile z błaganiem o pomoc uważają że nie zasługuję na pomoc. Tutaj pojawia się pytanie na jakiej podstawie ludzie czytający moje maile z prośbą o pomoc uważają że nie zasługuję na pomoc ? Nikomu nawet nie chciało się sprawdzić czy to co piszę to prawda. Co mam zrobić żeby uzyskać pomoc ? Do jakich desperackich kroków mam się posunąć żeby zechciano mi pomóc ? Mam pójść pod studio Dzień Dobry TVN, oblać się denaturatem i grozić że się podpalę ? Istnieje ryzyko że gdybym nawet tak zrobiła to wysłano by mnie do psychiatryka żeby pozbyć się kłopotu, i tak nikt by mi nie pomógł. Jedyne wyjście to samobójstwo, żeby zakończyć swoje cierpienia na tym świecie, nie ma już dla mnie żadnej nadziei 🙁

 

Poszłam dziś do budynku gdzie tworzone jest dzien dobry tvn. W recepcji była młoda kobieta, wyglądała jak modelka, obok niej stał ochroniaż. Zapytałam tą panią czy byłaby możliwość żebym porozmawiała z jakimś dziennikarzem, ta pani odpowiedziała że to niemożliwe. Ochroniaż zapytał mnie czy on mógłby mi jakoś pomóc, ta pani wkurzyła się bardzo na tego ochroniarza i zabroniła mu ze mną rozmawiać. Odeszłam z kwitkiem. Według tej pani zwykli, szarzy śmiertelnicy nie mogą rozmawiać od tak ze sławnymi ludżmi. To dziwne ponieważ wielokrotnie widziałam w internecie jak zwykli ludzie podchodzili na chodniku przed studiem DDTVN do celebrytów i prosili ich o autograf i wspólne zdjęcie. Usiadłam na ławce niedaleko wejścia do studia DDTVN i pomyślałam że spróbuję zagadać do jakiegoś dziennikarza kiedy będzie wychodził, ale się przestraszyłam że jak pani z recepcji mnie zobaczy to jeszcze zadzwoni na policję więc dałam sobie spokój. Koniec mojej przygody z DDTVN.

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